She had to jump from a train to get away from them.

I post these horror stories, not because they are a rarity, but because in Scientology, they happen all the time.  The public must be made aware of these, because only by public outcry, will the authorities be willing to do anything about it.

Moira Hutchinson's Story

January 27, 1997

I gave over two years of my life to working and learning how to run a

Scientology Church, because I believed in the technology.   My

original involvement came about because I was depressed, had no self

esteem and did not know where I was going in life.   Scn appeared to

give me a sense of focus.   I am aware that it sheltered me from real

life and it caused problems in my family relationships.

Originally I was very well respected by the higher management of Scn,

due in particular to my ability to learn and apply new technology,

policy etc.  I was sent to L.A. to be trained in all of the policies

written about running a Scn org, disseminating, training of auditors,

communication and so on.   This was a fairly brutal training regime.

I was there for seven months, I had one day off and spent the rest of

the time studying from 8:30am to 11:00pm, we had two 15 minute breaks

and two half hour meal breaks.   My stay there was supposed to be paid

for by the Sea Org in the UK.   However, I ended up working in the

kitchen four afternoons a week in order to earn my keep.  

While in LA, after doing an internship in ASHO I was approached and

asked to stand in for one of their officers who had been called away

for two weeks.   I was there for a total of four weeks.

Attempts were made to recruit me to the upper levels of Scn

management.   However, although I felt honored to have this type of

praise given to me, I insisted on going back to the UK.   From what I

saw, this level of management was fairly well looked after in

comparison to the UK.   They were given a weekly allowance, clothing

and time off once a week.   None of this happened in the UK.

Upon my return to the UK  I found that I was to be made the ED in

Edinburgh.   The org now only comprised of 2 staff and less than 10

clients.    Seven months prior to this, when I left Britain, this org

consisted of  20 staff and circa 50 clients.

What had happened was that all of these people had 'defected' to form

'splinter groups'.   This was slammed by the church, who called all of

the people using this technology outside of the church's umbrella

'squirrels'.   Members in good standing were forbidden to communicate

with any of them.

This heralded the beginning of my struggle to keep an org running in

Edinburgh, I was making some money with the sale of basic courses,

materials and books.   However, I inherited a #900.00 phone bill, #

750.00 rates bill, #600.00 electric bill etc etc.   The phone was

disconnected and I had to use public phone boxes.   I had several

writs served for non-payment of bills.   I was actually successful in

talking a Sheriff out of auctioning all of the furniture in the org.

All requests for financial help were ignored by the Sea Org.   Of

course, the money had to still be filtered upwards.

This added fuel to the niggling doubts I had started to have about the

church and how it operated.   After about a month of being the ED, the

current CO UK called me down to East Grinstead.   This was an attempt

to get me to 'confess my transgressions that I must have committed'.

You see because I was now supposed to be a hot shot, I was expected to

have the statistics of the org turned around and back to the level

they had been prior to my departure to LA.    One of the key issues

here was that I was supposed to make money for the church.   It did

not matter that all resources were now depleted and any possible

solution had to start back at the basics.   It was considered not

acceptable to hold seminars, workshops etc using the basic Dianetic

information.   The courses that I was signing people up for at this

point ran at a cost of #20 - #40.  

One day I made the mistake of telling one of my superior officers

about a wonderful older lady that I had signed up to do a

communication course.   I was told that I had to sell the whole bridge

to her.  An officer was sent up from East Grinstead to facilitate

this.   I was harassed and chased by upper management to do this, they

did not care for her well being.   They just wanted the money.

Anyways, I was 'busted' as the ED twice.   There was a new CO UK now

(the other one had been 'busted' for having an affair  with an

underage girl who baby-sat his children.   In my first conversation

with her she accused me of having destroyed the Org in Edinburgh.

Shortly after this I was summoned to the Sea Org HQ in East Grinstead,

supposedly for one day, I was kept there for a whole week so that I

could complete a program very similar to the RPF where I had to write

down all of my transgressions committed against the church and carry

out menial physical duties.

I did this program three times in my time in Scn.   I had been told I

could complete my second one, by the Ethics Officer.   The CO UK saw

that I had completed and she barked out an order to the Ethics Officer

that there was no way that I was finished and I had to go back to the

program until she felt I was done and my ethics were intact.

The second time I was 'busted' in Edinburgh I did not return to

Edinburgh until I was out of the church.   The CO UK told me I was

going to be primed for a top position (actually I would have been

level with her in hierarchical terms).   In order to prove my

worthiness I was to be sent to Plymouth on a fact finding 'mission'

with one other officer.

This was my second scn 'mission';  the first one I did was in London.

Once I had finished what I was sent out to do, I returned to East

Grinstead and gave my debrief.   I should mention here also,  that

every time an officer returns to base from a mission, they have to

have a confessional.   I always had a problem with these as I would

end up having an e-meter read on something out of the confessional

listing.   The read would be chased and chased until I was exhausted

and nothing was ever found.

Anyways, upon my return to base after this mission I was accused of

blowing from my duties because I had returned without the appropriate

sign off by the CO UK.  We had called in to say we were done and going

to return that day.   Needless to say, that brought about an even more

in depth confessional procedure followed by another stay in an ethics

program.

Once my 'ethics were intact' I was told that I was going to be sent on

a "garrison mission" to Plymouth.   This is where a Sea Org Officer is

sent to an Org, expected to perform miracles with the revenue and

other statistics of org performance.   It also usually meant that the

officer was left there indefinitely.

So I went to Plymouth and did my best, as I always did.   I was

pregnant when I went to Plymouth.   I miscarried in my fourth month

(not really surprising due to my very poor diet and the fact that I

worked seven days a week 8:00 am- 10:00pm).   I wanted to take some

time off to recover, the request was denied.

One of  the clients of the org in Plymouth was a guy that I quickly

became friends with.   He was the first scientologist that I felt safe

discussing my doubts & opinions with the structure, running and

philosophies of the church.   I found that he shared a lot of my

opinions, although I had been far more exposed to the managerial

politics than he.

Shortly after my arrival in Plymouth he became a staff member.   He

wanted to help me make the Plymouth org the thriving, happy place it

had once been.  (Sounds similar to Edinburgh, doesn't it!?!)

My marriage had broken down right after my miscarriage (I was married

to a guy who worked in Saint Hill).   I got involved in an affair with

this guy in Plymouth.   You can imagine what happened when the Sea Org

got wind of this.   Three Sea Org Officers were sent to Plymouth to

interrogate me and make me do yet another confessional!

I did the confessional, wrote up my transgressions, namely having an

affair while still legally married to another.   I wrote a list of

every project I was working on, which client was doing what, who had

been promised what.   Upon completion of this, I went down a back set

of stairs and left the building via the fire escape.   This was due to

a tacit agreement between my friend and myself that I had to leave.  

The church made three attempts to get me to return.   (I would have

had to report straight to the RPF, of course!).   In  the third one, I

was actually kidnapped to be taken to East Grinstead.   I managed to

jump off the train at the station before East Grinstead.   Luckily I

had enough money on me to pay for a train ticket back to Plymouth.  

Within a month I received a declaration stating that I was now

classified as a Suppressive Person

Reading all of this, you must be wondering what on earth made me so

subservient, innocent and gullible.   I was 17 when I got involved

with the church, 20 when I left.   I did like and agree with a lot of

the technology itself, and this made me stick with it.

I received very little auditing while in the church, just some basic

repair, confessional, word clearing, etc.   I did also receive some

Dianetic auditing and it did nothing for me.   Something a lot of

people did not know about me was that I had never read the book

Dianetics a Modern Science of Mental Health.   I had tried a few times

but could never get into it.

I got involved with an auditor, based in Scotland, who delivered all

of the upper Scn levels to me (OT 1-7 and L10-L12)  after indicating

that I was a 'natural clear'.

I can't say that I did not get anything out of the processing I

received after leaving the church.   However, none of the levels

delivered what all of the church hype wanted you to believe.   It took

a huge effort and a lot of work for me to rebuild my life after coming

out of the church.   I was 20, with very low self esteem,  I had no

real life work skills, I only had the qualifications I had graduated

high school with.   I had to rekindle all of my relationships with my

family.   I had to make new friends as the friends I had before Scn

were all in Scotland and they had all moved on with their lives.

Ten years have passed since all of this happened.   I view Scn with

very different eyes now.   My life experience in these past years has

taught me that there is no one right path to lead us through this

life, nor does any one person have the right to dictate a thought

system, slandering all others.

The Scn Technology I was taught was focused a lot on freedoms;

freedom from control, from self inflicted hang ups and so on.   This,

in my opinion, is where Scn gets its appeal, as we all want freedom in

some form or another.   However, in reality there is a large amount of

fear in the people who work in the church.   An opposing opinion meant

an ethics investigation and handling.   Depending on the severity of

the opposition to the thought system, a person could be declared a

Suppressive Person.   Whenever this happened, in my experience, the

remaining staff/officers would make statements like  -  "I always

suspected he/she was suppressive".   I am sure the same was said of me

once I was declared.

I have to say that although I admit to having some success with some

of the processing, my belief system has changed very much.   I have

grown up and taken charge of my life.   One thing I can say that the

whole experience has taught me is to ensure that I explore everything

when any type of spiritual or philosophical train of thought or belief

system comes my way.   I will never allow myself to be involved with

an organization which takes people out of the real world.

I feel very strongly that no one should become involved with the

Church of Scientology.   The setup I was exposed to was a hierarchy to

make money.   There was very little evidence of true caring for the

clients by the management.   Staff members become wrapped in a cause.

The work hours and rules are so demanding, the real world ceases to

exist.

I would like to offer my support to anyone having problems in breaking

away from Scn.

Part Two

February 5, 1997

I feel that I have started a flood of emotions and feelings that I was

not aware of prior to writing my ‘Testimonial’ about my life in

Scientology.

I mentioned in my last writing that my belief system had changed very

much.  This has made me reflect even deeper than  before and

investigate the true extent of where I am at now.

I have previously discussed in general terms what the extent of my

‘ethics handlings’ were.  I am now going to try and go deeper into

this, you will have to bear with me on this, it is still a pretty

emotional area for me.

I have already explained to you all that I was very young when I went

through this.   This resulted in my acceptance of a lot of things that

went on without questioning them.  However, in climbing back into the

real world it allows me to look back on my own experiences and those

witnessed.

I was appointed to be the Executive Director in Edinburgh upon my

return from LA.   One month into this appointment, an officer was sent

from  the Sea Org in East Grinstead.  His brief was to find out what

suppressive act I was doing that inhibited the making a high level of

GI (Gross Income)  and having a lot of services being delivered.   I

was expected to be selling and delivering  Scn levels to clients who

did not even know what Dianetics were.   Not only that, I did not have

any staff members qualified to deliver these levels.

I need to digress here and tell you  the reason I knew what the brief

this officer was sent to Edinburgh with.   Some time later, I was at

the SO in East Grinstead and the officer in question was being sent to

the RPF.   He asked to talk to me privately before he left and he

informed me of the above.   He told me that he felt I was unfairly

targeted with some heavy ethics handling.

Anyways, back to my story!   It was awful, words can’t totally explain

what I felt.   I was shut in a room with this officer for up to four

hours at a time.   I was constantly asked with various slants on the

question, what CI (counter intention) I had to ‘clearing the planet’,

LRH, SCN, and Dianetics.   This interrogation left me feeling like I

was sitting on the edge of a huge black abyss.  I got to the point

that I would say anything to avoid being pushed any further.

The result of this interrogation was that I was sent to the SO.  This

was supposedly for one day, I returned to Edinburgh seven days later.

Upon my arrival in the org, I was accused of blowing my ethics

handling.   This was because the Commanding Officer had not approved

my leaving the SO.   Rather, it was the Ethics Officer that said I was

finished and ‘let’s get me back home to kick some butt!!’

This leads me to another digression!!  Wherever I was in the C of S, I

made friends and allies, people who really saw and understood who I

was.   A decent caring individual that believed in what I was doing  -

helping people with their ‘cases’.   The Ethics Officer was very kind

to me and I got the impression he did not feel that I should even be

there.

This first trip to my quasi-RPF program, I previously said that I had

gone for a one day stay that turned into seven.   You can imagine how

degraded and dirty I felt.   If you are going away for a day, you’d

take your shampoo, toothbrush and change of underwear... Right!?!

Because I did not understand what this program entailed, I had worn a

skirt and heels.   I had to spend 5-6 hours a day writing up my

transgressions, the rest of my time I was on kitchen and cleaning

duty.   I was heckled and ordered about by other officers   -   ‘eyes

to the ground’,  ‘run don’t walk’.   Once I was instructed to clean

all of the windows inside and out.   An officer started to laugh to

her colleagues and said ‘look she is even out-tech when she cleans

windows!’   LRH even had a policy on how to clean windows!!!

While on this program, I was not allowed to eat at the same time as

anyone else,   I had to eat any leftovers after mealtimes.

Anyways, back in Edinburgh!  I was ‘permitted’ to stay there but I was

demoted to being the deputy ED.   Something that I and the people who

worked with me felt was a gross injustice.  We all sent telexes to the

higher levels of Scn Management.   I did strongly feel that they never

got sent out because every transmission had to be vetted by the SO in

the UK before they went anywhere.

Things muddled on for a while.   I mentioned in my previous article

that the Commanding Officer was busted for improper sexual acts.

This heralded the appointment of a ‘garrison mission’ from the States.

I can truly say that this woman was a power crazy  person who did not

care who she stood on to look good in the eyes of her own higher ups.

In my first conversation with her, I was told that I was the woman

that had been sent to LA for the best level of admin training only to

return home and ‘crash the org’.

I went to Saint Hill (in East Grinstead) for some sort of new LRH

release.   I had driven down with some clients and we were intending

to share the driving and return to Edinburgh that night.   This new

Commanding Officer wanted to talk to me.   The result? I was ordered

to stay for four days on my second quasi-RPF program.   Again, totally

unprepared to be away from home.

There was another instance where an officer was sent to Edinburgh to

investigate me.  (This was actually before the one I just mentioned).

I was interrogated about my family life  -  i.e. my life outside the

church.   This officer felt that it was putting undue pressure on me.

The result being that I could not give my whole being the C of S.

This is really where I started feeling like I was stuck between a rock

and a hard place.   You see, I had not seen my father and sisters for

nine months;  my father was angry and did not understand what was

taking me away from them.   I love my father dearly and I wanted to

try and make up for the fact that I had basically disappeared from his

life.   When I told the officer this, I was told that I had to go and

have supper with my family and then cut ties with them because I was

obviously a PTS (Potential Trouble Source) and my father was

Suppressive to Scn.

You know what the most horrible thing is?   I did it.   I still had

that much blind trust in Scn.   I am very proud to be able to say that

I now have a very deep and special relationship with my father.   He

trusted in who I am and waited for me to be part of his life again.

I told you that the ‘ethics handling’ programs I did were only

quasi-RPF.   In the UK people were sent somewhere to do the RPF

program.   I have also previously told you that I carried out kitchen

duties whilst in LA.   This allowed me to see the RPFers there.   They

would come in to eat after everyone else had left.   I found this

deeply disturbing.   Everyone was dressed in dark blue overalls, they

did not walk, they shuffled with their heads always bowed down low,

and no-one would utter a word.  

I became pretty close with an officer in the ASHO whose husband was on

the RPF.   I remember her telling me, very excitedly, that she was to

be allowed to share her half hour meal breaks with her husband.   When

she told me this, she had not seen him for a year.

Scary stuff eh!?!   In my opinion, the reason this carries on is,

obviously fear based;  but I feel that the hierarchy of Scn is

dominated by people who have never experienced life outside of the

church.   This is a very dangerous concept particularly when there is

so much power bestowed upon these people.

Reviewing all of this makes me feel honored to have been brought up

as a Quaker.   Quakerism accepts all types of religion at face value

and does not try to convert anyone.   I can not say that I now belong

to any set faith or religion.   I like to think that I have become

eclectic.   I am open to truth in any form, it just can not walk over

people’s freedoms and rights.

In closing, I would like to reiterate my sentiment about helping

anyone coming to terms with coming  out of the CofS or having problems

with having come out..... Contact me.

Moira Hutchison