The Ideal Steal

I am writing this for people who have never been in Scientology for their education and for the people who are still in the Gulag of Corporate Scientology that they may finally see the truth and remove themselves.  Those of us who have, thank God, gotten out, already know this.  If you communicate with anyone still in, send this to them, if possible, so that they might see the light.

Why the U.S. Government hasn't done anything about the following is totally beyond me.  

Several years ago, all existing Scientology Orgs were ordered to buy new buildings.  These were to be called Ideal Orgs and were to be of a certain size that they could hold a certain amount of parishioners and staff.  They were also to renovated to look as upscale as a multi-million dollar corporation.  When a local Church of Scientology Organization needs to buy a new building and renovate it, the funds to accomplish this  are donated by local parishioners to the local Org.  When the Church has received enough in donations to purchase the building, the local Org buys the building and renovates it in preparation to move in.  After the building is bought and paid for, and the renovations done, ownership is then turned over to the Religious Technology Center (which holds all Scientology properties and patents).  The local Org then pays rent to R.T.C. out of a percentage of their weekly Gross Income.  

What happens to the old buildings?  R.T.C. sells those buildings and it goes into the coffers of (can you guess?), R.T.C.

Now, if this makes sense to you, I have a great idea.  I want you to go down the street here, and buy a certain house.  Then, when you have done all the work on getting the house and getting it ready to move in, I want you to turn the title over to me.  Oh, don't worry.  I will let you live there.  You just have to pay me a thousand dollars a month rent.  Sounds like a good deal to me.

These rent monies come off the top of the Gross Income before anything else is paid including staff pay, maintenance, power, phone and even toilet paper. Book sales are not considered Gross Income and go into a separate account.  After rent is paid, all monies are then divided up to pay bills, material and staff pay.  Also a percentage of the money goes into a reserve account for weeks that the Org doesn't make enough to pay bills.  No, staff pay does not come out of this account.  Ever.  If the Org needs to tap the reserve account, staff does not get paid that week.

If you happen to have enough nerve to ask your senior how you are supposed to pay your own rent and eat and pay for gas to get to work, you will get the Scientology stare and these words:  "Make it go right"  Meaning if you cannot afford to live, it is your fault.  Of course, it is also frowned upon if you go out and get a part time job to make ends meet.  Health insurance?  Forget about it.

Thanks for coming by today.  Please share this post.  It is important that as many people as possible read these and are aware of what happens in the Church of Scientology.

My Apologies

Samuel Johnson said "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".  

Almost all the staff members I ever knew had good intentions.  Most of the parishioners too.  So did I.  The problem is, you can have all the good intentions in the world and still do bad things to people if what you believe in is not what was advertised.  I am sure that the priests of the Inquisition  thought they had good intentions when they burned the alleged heretics at the stake.  Scientologists justify their actions sometimes by saying "greatest good for the greatest number on dynamics". (A human's urge to survive by himself, sex and children, his groups, all mankind, etc) Basically, what is meant by this is what is the greatest good for Scientology because they believe that Scientology is the only way mankind will be able to survive on Earth.  At the time, I believed it too.

There were things that I did and cycles of action that I was involved in that, at the time I thought was doing the best for Scientology and mankind.  Now, those same actions fill me with guilt and shame.  I actually think that this, for me, is the definition of Karma.  That little thing called a conscience.  I know there are many ex-Scientologists that feel the same way.  For many of us, exposing the lies and crimes of Scientology is a way to make up for the damage that we perceive that we have done.

The following are some of the actions that I did or was involved in.  Sometimes I still feel like kicking my ass.

As the Public Executive Secretary (P.E.S. - Over the division responsible for getting new people into Scientology),of the Mission at Hesperia, California and the Organization at Las Vegas, Nevada, I personally sold over a thousand Dianetics books, and was responsible for getting others for selling even more, thus exposing thousands of people to Dianetics and Scientology for the first time.

Also, as the P.E.S., I personally signed hundreds of people to some kind of introductory service, (course, auditing or extension course).  When I didn't have someone at my desk to sign up, I was busy on the phone, trying to get new people in, or existing parishioners back in for further services as recovering people is under the Public Division.

There were more than a few occasions that I recovered or helped to recover staff members and got them back on staff, even to the point of signing them to new contracts.

As the P.E.S. and then as the Executive Director of the Las Vegas Organization, I was responsible for signing many new people on staff, including kids as young as 15, with parental consent.  Even "helping" some of them to decide to go into the Sea Organization.

Let me take a moment here to explain what parental consent is in Scientology.  When a teenager has been convinced to sign a staff or Sea Org contract, it is considered a done deal, whether the parents like it or not. Yes, legally, you need to have the parents signature on the contract if that teenager is under the age of 18 but, these parents are already Scientologists, so they are easily manipulated one way or another.  If the child is going to be a staff member there at the Org, it is pretty easy to convince the parents to sign.  You assure them that they will be able to continue their education and just work evenings and weekends until they have finished high school.  The odds are the kid will last only a short time on staff or will drop out of school to work full time at the org so they can get training and auditing for free.  If the child is being signed to the Sea Org, you may have to get heavy handed with the parents.  Again you assure them that the child will continue their education, even though you know that this is not true.  The only education they will receive is Scientology.  If the parents still balk, you bring in the point that this is for the greater good of the greatest number of dynamics.  And if the parents still resist, then you get a little mean, telling them that they are "ethics bait" and that they may be giving up their entire eternity by not allowing this to go through.  Most of the time this is effective as the parents know you have just threatened them with expulsion from the church.  99% of the time, they will sign.

After I was made the Executive Director, I appointed my best friend to the post of P.E.S. even though I knew he wasn't really up to the job.  He was totally overwhelmed and I had to continually step in and convince him, step-by-step, that he could do the job.  I was slowly bringing him along and he would have been good at it given enough time.  Not too long after this, every Org was ordered to send two people to Los Angeles for some special "secret" training.  Upper management had already decided who I was to send, it was just my job to convince them to go.  Well of course, he was one of them.  I didn't really want to do this, but I was under orders.  So I did.  Even though I know that he wasn't going to make it.  What I didn't know was that it would damn near destroy his mind.  I am so sorry for this.  I hope he rests in peace.  I was informed recently that he died of cancer several years ago.

For those of you who were on staff at the time, the above "secret training" was known as the Key to Life evolution.

The other person I sent was the Org's receptionist.  She was also my fiancee.  Shortly after she went to L.A. she joined the Sea Org.  I was not eligible for the Sea Org, so that was the end of that relationship.

I need to tell all of these people above that I am heartily sorry for these actions.  I really thought I was doing the right thing.

Thank you, my friends, for staying with me during this series.  Stay tuned, there is more to come.

A Message To The Stars

This is a message to some of the celebrities of Scientology.  They are free to comment.  If they dare.

Dear Celebs,
Before I get into individual cases, I want to tell you something that you may or may not know.  You were targeted.  From the time you first came into the public eye, you were on someone's battle plan.  The people who brought you in got some great Tokens of Appreciation for getting you in and on you first services.  It was all part of Hubbard's Expansion Plan and had been going on long before you got in.  You don't have to believe me, it is in writing from Hubbard himself in Ability Magazine back in 1955. It was called "Project Celebrity".

I want you to read that final paragraph again.  "If you want one of these celebrities as your game, write us at once so the notable will be yours to hunt without interference".  How does that make you feel?  Game to be hunted.

The following is the opinion of the Author and may or may not be endorsed by the host of this blog.

To Kirstie Alley:

I admit to having a crush on you when you were on "Cheers", and you have always been a hell of an actress. Well done on losing all that weight and your performance on DWTS.  Please understand that it was not Hubbard, Miscavige or Scientology that got you there.  It was your own desire and drive.  Please come out of the church and be the "Real Person" we all knew and loved.

To Nancy Cartwright:

What a talent you have.  But, did you not really understand the script you were reading when you made the episode "The Joy of Sect"?  Just as a reminder - "The Simpsons did a whole episode on cults in the 1994 episode, the majority of which was based on the Church of Scientology. In the episode, a cult called the “Movementarians” takes over Springfield, and Homer and the rest of the Simpson family become members. “The Leader” physically resembles L. Ron Hubbard; the Movementarians’ “trillion year labor contract” alludes to the Sea Org’s billion year contract; and both groups make extensive use of litigation."  Come on!  You didn't see the similarities?

To John Travolta:

What an incredible career you have had.  For many, many years you have had the reputation of Hollywood's Mr. Nice Guy.  A man of Honesty and Integrity.  Is that the real John?  Or is it just more Hollywood hype?  Now days, there is a different kind of hype going on.  I don't know if the stories are true or not.  Frankly, I don't care and neither do most of my friends.  For a while now, rumors have been circling about how you may not be enthralled with Scientology any more.  I want you to think about this John.  Maybe all of this bad press you have been getting lately is coming from someone in your precious "church" to show you what could happen if you don't toe the line.  You think it couldn't happen?  You need to learn about some of the mean, and illegal things they have done to others who have left.  

To Tom Cruise:

I have saved you for last because it is you I am most disappointed in.  The day you stepped up and received your Freedom Medal of Honor from the International Association of Scientologists, was a day that almost all Scientology staff lost any remaining respect for you.  No, I am not talking about the silly Video.  That just turned off some of your fans outside Scientology.  I am talking about an INSULT you allowed to happen against every Staff Scientologist that ever existed.  You allowed David Miscavige to call you "the most dedicated Scientologist I know" and received your award without even acknowledging all of the people who made Scientology there for you in the first place.  And while you and Mr. Miscavige are eating your wonderful dinners at Scientology 5 Star Restaurants, most staff are wondering if they have 20 cents for a package of Ramen for their dinner, or a place to cook it, or a private place to eat it, or a bed to sleep in.  That, Mr. Cruise is dedication.  I wonder if there is any saving left for you.  Furthermore, I don't know if you are worth it.

To all Scientology Celebrities.  If you ever decide to leave, please know that there are thousands of ex-Scientologists out here that are more than willing to help.  They will spirit you away to places where you can chill and think.  They will not ask you for anything, and will never spill you secrets.  Just let us know.

Thank you my friends for reading this.  If you happen to know any of the above, please feel free to share it with them.  Hell, share it with everyone you know.  More soon.

The Children of Scientology

This is from my own personal observations from the Organizations I worked at.  I was never in the Sea Org so I do not know about those, but I hear from others that it is even worse. If you were a kid in Scientology and want your story told here, please send me an e-mail.

In most Orgs, there is no nanny or day care services, as there are not enough staff members to even run the Org.

While I was on staff I met, and got to know several children ages 5 to 17.  These were the kids of staff and of public (parishioners).  They are not permitted to be normal children.  If they are not on a Scientology course, they are expected to do work in the Organization.  They are expected to clean, or stuff envelopes, or run messages back and forth all day.  At events, they are supposed to help out serving food and picking up dishes.  They are not paid for this, or even praised.  They are expected to do these actions because they are blessed to be the children of Scientologists.

They, on the most part, are not allowed to go out and play.  This, I consider, is a very strange thing because Hubbard said, "The most valuable thing that a thetan possesses is his spirit of play. His spirit of play is sensation of play and is not just energy. It's a tremendous sensation. A guy has practically lost it if he's here on Earth at all."

If they go to school, when they get out of school, they are expected to come to the Org, have a little snack and then get to work.  They are also expected to be quiet while they are doing it.  If they talk, they are not to be loud.  It is almost a whisper.  If they started out with a sense of humor, believe me, it goes away fast.

The Scientology point of view is that they are not really children.  They are Big Thetans (spiritual beings) in small bodies.  They are expected to be treated as adults, and expected to act like adults. I personally believe that this is one of the reasons there is a high incidence of sexual abuse of children in Scientology.  And why it doesn't get reported very often.  Also, it is considered a crime in the Church of Scientology to take your problems outside the church.  One of the fastest ways to get declared a Suppressive Person, is to report another Scientologist to the police or press.  Children who are abused in Scientology are usually informed that they need to go to the ethics officer and find out how and why they pulled it in.  In other words, children, as well as adults, that have something happen to them are responsible, in some way, for those things happening.

 If a child is sick or injured, it is expected that they will be treated in the Scientology manner.  Touch assists, contact assists and other Scientology processes.  They will not be taken to a doctor unless it threatens to become a legal issue.  If a child has hurt feelings or is unhappy in some way, they are told that they are being "case on post" , which means that their feelings are getting in the way of them doing their job.

And last, many, many children in the church are told from a young age that as they are Scientologists, they will be expected to go on staff as soon as they get to a certain age.  Their parents are hounded continuously to sign their children over to staff or the Sea Org.  This is supposed to happen by age 14 to 16.  Which means that, unless the parents are very strong willed, the child will get no further formal education.

And the look on their faces tell the story far better than I can.  When I saw the photo below, I spent most of the day crying, then I wrote a short poem that I will include blow the photo.  It was taken by a protester in Sea Org Alley, at Flag Land Base, commonly known as the Mecca of Scientology in , Clearwater, Florida.

Please rip out my eyes

So I do not see their tears.

Please seal my ears

So I do not hear their cries.

Please tear out my heart

So I feel no empathy.

For if I must see, hear and

feel these things,

I have no choice, but to act.

And I fear that I haven't

the strength,

to carry on.

Thank you my friends for reading my post.  Please share it with everyone you know.  People need to know the truth about Scientology.

Scientology - A Cabal of Fear

"So if Scientology is so bad, and all these people are out, why aren't they talking about it?"  There is a single, simple answer to that one.  Fear.  Fear of reprisal, fear of attack, (legal and physical), fear of harassment and fear of losing loved ones still in the church.  Fear is one of the strongest motivators known to man, and many people are just afraid to talk openly.  There are also many people who talk about their experiences, but you may not have heard of them.  They talk under the anonymity of an alias.  You can read all of their horror stories in places like Ex Scientologist Message Board  and Ex Scientology Kids as well as other places around the net.  You will soon see why fear pervades. Not since the Inquisition, from 1478 to 1834, have so many people been afraid of their "church".

So why are so many people afraid of this purported  citadel of peace and sanity?  Let us start with the words of the founder, L. Ron Hubbard.  From the Scientology Justice manual:

"People attack Scientology; I never forget it, always even the score. People attack auditors, or staff, or organizations, or me.  I never forget until the slate is clear." (Vengeance is mine sayeth Ron )

There are horrid repercussions for opposing Scientology.  As I have mentioned before, there is the policy of disconnection, (which you can read about here), which basically means, if you have been declared a suppressive person (excommunicated), you will not be able to see or speak to your family and friends in the church.

But there are much worse punishments that the church can and has dealt out.  There was operation PC Freakout:

Operation Freakout, also known as Operation PC Freakout, was a Church of Scientology covert plan intended to have the US author and journalist Paulette Cooper imprisoned or committed to a mental institution. The plan, undertaken in 1976 following years of Church-initiated lawsuits and covert harassment, was meant to eliminate the perceived threat that Cooper posed to the Church and obtain revenge for her publication in 1971 of a highly-critical book, The Scandal of Scientology. The Federal Bureau of Investigation discovered documentary evidence of the plot and the preceding campaign of harassment during an investigation into the Church of Scientology in 1977, eventually leading to the Church compensating Cooper in an out-of-court settlement.

Scientologists will tell you that even if that is true, it was years and years ago under a now defunct part of Scientology known as the Guardians Office.  What most will not tell you is that the Guardians Office was just reorganized and renamed as the Office of Special Affairs.  They will also tell you that they don't have any policy of getting even with anyone or terrorizing anyone.

In 2005, A man named Mark Headley, a Sea Org member stationed at Scientology's International base, was scheduled to be interrogated over some trumped up charges.  (By the way, if you don't know what they mean by interrogation, read this.) He knew that there is no way you can pass this kind of interrogation because it is designed for you to fail.  Before he was scheduled to be interrogated, Headley made a break for it, ditching the base in a dramatic chase with security guards that ended with Headley taking a spill on a motorcycle. An ensuing shouting match with Scientology guards drew the attention of Riverside County sheriff's deputies, who helped Headley get away.  Pretty scary stuff huh?  If you haven't read his book, you should pick up a copy.

They have been known to spend incredible sums of money chasing down people who have escaped their clutches and returning them back to the fold.  You must remember that they believe they have the only technology in the Universe that will "clear" the planet.  But how do you go about doing that?  Again, in Hubbard's own words:

Hubbard, HCO Policy Letter of 16 February 1960, Targets, Defense

T1. De-popularizing the enemy to a point of total obliteration.
T2. Taking over the control or allegiance of the heads or proprietors of all news media.
T3. Taking over the control or allegiance of key political figures.

T4. Taking over the control or allegiance of those who monitor international finance and shifting them to a         less precarious finance standard.

And who are these enemies?  Hubbard goes on the explain:

The names and connections, at this time, of the bitterly opposing enemy are
Psychiatry and psychology (not medicine).
The heads of news media who are also directors of psychiatric front groups.
A few key political figures in the fields of 'mental health' and education.
A decline of monetary stability caused by the current planning of bankers who are also directors of
psychiatric front organizations would make us unable to function.

So do you have friends or family in the Church of Scientology?  Are you scared yet?  You should be.
Thanks for sticking it out with me.  Please feel free to post in the comment section if you have and questions or comments.  Please pass this along if you know of anyone who should read it. (everyone).  Again, thank you.

The Carrot, The Stick and a Lump of Sugar

"If Scientology is so bad, why did you stay in so long?"  How many of us have been asked that question?  There is really no single good answer to that question but there are a few answers that might give one an insight as to why a person might stay in even after they have seen some bad things, or have come to the realization that Scientology has not done what it promised.

From the very first time you walk into a Scientology Org (Place of business), You are exposed to the false promises of Scientology.  In Dianetics, you are told that you can go "Clear".  This means that you will have full objective memory of your entire life, and be free of illness.  In Scientology, you are told that if you buckle down and study hard, spend a whole lot of money, and do everything you are told, you can go full OT. (Operating Thetan.  Supposes that the Spirit has all the powers of a God)  Which is interpreted by L. Ron Hubbard as "A thetan who is completely rehabilitated and can do everything a thetan should do, such as move [matter, energy, space, and time (MEST)] and control others from a distance, or create his own universe; a person who is able to create his own universe or, living in the MEST universe is able to create illusions perceivable by others at will, to handle MEST universe objects without mechanical means and to have and feel no need of bodies or even the MEST universe to keep himself and his friends interested in existence".

As a staff member, or member of the Sea Org, you are told that you are responsible for accomplishing something that has never been done before on planet Earth.  You are going to create a world without war, crime and insanity. The mechanism by which Scientology plans to achieve this goal is by the process of "clearing" the planet.  You are also promised that you will receive all of your training and auditing (Scientology counseling), at no cost.

The above, then, is the carrot.  Always dangled in front of you but out of reach, designed to keep you plodding along.

Now let's take a look at the stick.  The stick, in Scientology is what they call "ethics and justice".  It is designed to accomplish only this:  To keep you in line, and to keep you from making waves.  What they tell you is that you cannot go up the "bridge to total freedom" if your ethics are not 100% in.  They tell you that the purpose of ethics is defined as "rationality toward the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics" (parts of life, such as self, family, groups, etc.). The purpose of ethics is said to be "paving the way for getting tech in."  But Hubbard also said, "the purpose of ethics is to remove counter-intentions from the environment. Having accomplished that, the purpose becomes to remove other intentiondness from the environment." What that statement really means is that anyone or anything that stands in the way of Scientology's stated goals of "clearing the world", is to be removed. 

So what if you have read something by Hubbard that you totally disagree with?  First, you are told that you have a misunderstood word, or words, that are getting in the way of your understanding of Hubbard's infallible logic.  If you have looked up these words in the dictionary, and defined them to yourself as perfectly as a human is able and then still disagree, then you are sent to ethics.  In ethics, it is pounded into you that if your really got what Hubbard was saying that you would, of course, agree.  Or maybe it is that you are connected to someone who is antagonistic to Scientology.  Also if you are ill. you are probably connected to someone who doesn't take to Scientology's ways. At that point, you may be pulled off your course to take another course called the PTS/SP course.  (Potential Trouble Source/ Suppressive Person).  And of course you will be expected to pay for this course.

If you are staff, or Sea Org, this applies to your post (job) as well.  If your statistics for the week are lower than they were the week before, you are assigned a lower condition and sent to ethics to see how you can raise them.  This applies to every staff member in Scientology.  It looks, at first glance, like it makes sense.  But let's look a little closer.

You are a dishwasher in an org, and your usual statistic (number of plates washed), is two thousand per week.  Now this week, you have only washed 1900 plates.  Your stat is down.  You have automatically gone into a lower condition than normal.  You will have to apply the Scientology conditions formula to get back up again.  It does not matter if staff members have been shipped out for training, or have quit.  It does not matter if there are fewer Scientologists on course or auditing that week.  In Scientology it is your condition and your responsibility.

And if applying the ethics conditions does not fix your problem, not to worry, there is always justice.  In Scientology, justice equals punishment.  This can come in the form of having to prove your value to Scientology, usually in some sort of financial form, all the way up to being declared a Suppressive Person (excommunicated).  Get punished enough, and they figure you will fall back in line and be a good little drudge.

As for the lump of sugar, that is done in a gradient as all things are in Scientology, only this one is in a downward gradient.  As you grow in Scientology, the lumps of sugar are smaller and they come with less frequency.  At first, whether you are on staff or a public person on a course or auditing, it seems like everyone is always clapping for you and giving you kudos.  (Can anyone say love bombing?)  Then as you go along, more and more is expected of you with less and less praise.  Finally, it boils down to 2 or three words.  You get a WD (well done) on your paperwork if you meet expectations, and if you exceed expectations, you might get a VWD (very well done).  Unless you are Tom Cruise.  Then you will get a medal and called the most valuable Scientologist on Earth.  Which has pissed off a great deal of staff and Sea Org personnel. But mostly you accept the WD or VWD because it is part of the human condition to need at least a little praise along with being knocked down all the time. Everyone needs some kind of validation in life.  If you have ever been on staff in Scientology, you know all about invalidation.

Thank you so much for sticking it out with me.  Please understand that what I post here is my own viewpoint from things that I perceived while I was in the "church", as well as from my research since I have been out.  I realize that other people may have different views and if so, I welcome all comments.  Please remember to share this post and to subscribe to this blog.  Again, I thank you.

Why in Hell Did You Join That Cult?

That is the question that has been asked of me and many other ex-Scientologists countless times.  There are two main reasons why people join Scientology, or indeed, many cults.  I will give you the reason I joined first, which is a reason many people have joined staff and Sea Organization.

First let me set the stage a bit, for the reason I and so many of my generation could have fallen for a cult like Scientology.  I was born in 1952.  Just seven short years after the United States dropped the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  I grew up in an atmosphere of global fear of a full out atomic war.  Air raid drills were common place where I grew up and were taken seriously.  I grew up near a Strategic Air Command Base.  I was born during the Korean war and that was followed shortly by the war in Viet Nam.  We had nuclear missiles next door in Cuba and then our much loved President Kennedy was assassinated.  All many of my generation wanted was an end to war, and end of fear, peace and freedom.  Not only did we want this, but we wanted to be part of it.  We wanted to make a difference.

Enter an Applied Religious Philosophy (Scientology) that not only promised these things, but that told us by virtue of our wanting these things and wanting to make them happen, we were already among the elite.  Scientology would teach us to become an army of peace and freedom.  A lofty goal eh?  Herein lies the problem.  Scientology promises that they can make this happen.  They can turn you into someone who can actually make a difference.  For someone like me, it was an opened door trap that I gladly walked in to.  I was not looking to have any personal power.  I did not want great riches.  I just wanted to help others.

Scientology also promises that it can help you overcome things about yourself that you don't like.  It can help you communicate better. It can help you in your relationships.  It can help you manage your finances better.  It can make you a valuable employee in any field.  You get the point.  Yeah.  I wanted those things too.  I was one of the elite, but I was also one screwed up human being.  So I opened my mouth, bit the hook, let them set it and allowed them to reel me in.

So what about group number 2?  These are people who search for the esoteric.  The God Seekers.  Scientology tells you that you can find the answers that you seek.  All you have to do is train up as an auditor (a Scientology counselor) and get Scientology auditing yourself.  This is called the Bridge to Total Freedom.  Each level of auditing promises more personal knowledge and power on the next level.  The original promise of L. Ron Hubbard was that if you followed his, and only his, path up the Bridge that you would regain the ability to be at cause knowingly and at will over thought, life, form matter, energy, space and time, subjective and objective, with or without a body.  Wow! Sounds like God eh?  The fact is this.  We, as humans, have always sought to be more than we are.  After all, who wouldn't want all those powers.  The sad fact is, I have known many people that were Clear on up through OT 8 that have yet to demonstrate any of these powers.

Thank you so much for staying with me through this series of posts.  I consider you all my friends (and maybe therapists) for reading these thoughts.  As always, if you have any questions or comments, I will be very glad to hear them.  Stay tuned for more, and again, thank you.

Nightmares, Guilt and Grief

Hello and welcome back.  The chapter I am writing today is difficult for me, but I need to write it.  There are times when I think that I have gotten over everything that happened while I was in Scientology.  There are times when I think I am over the guilt and grief.  Then something happens that brings it all back in full force.  The other night was one of those times.

 I had a nightmare that was so real to me that it ended up hurting me physically.  I dreamed that I had overlooked a parking ticket and got arrested.  The judge said that I was a very bad person for overlooking a thing as serious as a parking ticket and he told me that my sentence was a year of community service in Scientology.  (hey dreams don't have to make sense)  Anyway, I turn around and there a three big Sea Organization guys waiting to take me away.  I am pretty sure that these were the same guys that had not my Committee of evidence and Sec-check (you can read about that here if you missed it).  Any way, as they are hauling me off, I am kicking and screaming.  I wake up and I am crying and kicking the wall instead of these Sea Org guys.  My foot has been purple for two days and it really hurts to put on my shoe.

So this tripped a whole bunch of other things and I spent the day being miserable.  The feelings of loss and grief are sometimes as real to me as if it had all happened yesterday.  There were people that I really cared about in the organization, that I have never seen again.  Two of them died and I didn't know about it for years.  I am sometimes filled with sadness that I wasted more than seven years of my life for this criminal enterprise.  I am also angry at times over the money that I was promised and never got.  I was told that when I moved up into a class five org as an executive that I would be making a good enough wage to live on.  This never happened.  I worked at least 60 hours a week and never made more than a hundred dollars, usually it was between $20.00 and $50.00.

Worse, I neglected my sons because I was out of state and never seemed to find the time to visit them, Let alone send any money for their support.  This effects me to this day with bouts of guilt.  I was not there for them.  I had more important things to do, like save the world, Scientology style.

And I feel major guilt because I was in charge of the division that got new people into Scientology.  This is something the effects me daily.  There are times that I feel that I will never be able to work off the Karma that must be associated with that.  I was responsible for getting hundreds of people exposed, for the first time, to Dianetics ans Scientology.  Guilt like that can really get to you.  Even after so many years out.

I am glad that I have met many ex-Scientologists since I have been out.  I know that I am not alone in these feelings and there are people I can talk to about these things.  There are people that have been through much worse than me.  People who have lost much more than me.  And yes, they feel much the same way that I do about some of these awful feelings.  And there are people who have been out much longer than I have that still have nightmares.

Thank you so much for reading this post.   If you have any questions or comments, please post them in the comments sections.  If you feel that this post has merit, please feel free to pass it along.  Who knows, you might keep someone from making the same mistakes that I have.  Again.  Thank you.

Scientology, A Church Built on Quicksand

From it's great foundations (Dianetics), all the way up to it's golden tipped spires (OT8), The Giant Cathedral Scientology is and always has been doomed to sink into the mire.  Even now, it's mammoth walls are crumbling inward like a massive volcano crashes in on itself to form a great caldera.  Just a big hole in the ground.

Dianetics, the foundation of the church, never did work the way Hubbard wished it to, and the only evidence of it's healing properties working is purely anecdotal.  There are no medical studies, anywhere, that prove the workability of this "technology".  Hubbard claimed that a person's awareness is influenced by the stimulus-response of the reactive mind. Achieving the state of Clear means a person has overcome the reactive mind and is in complete control of his analytical mind. According to Hubbard: "A Clear is a being who no longer has his own reactive mind, and therefore suffers none of the ill effects the reactive mind can cause. The Clear has no engrams which, when re-stimulated, throw out the correctness of his computations by entering hidden and false data."  According to Dianetics, almost all disease is psycho-somatic and can be cured by the eradication of the reactive mind.  A "clear"  is supposed to have superior mental abilities and a perfect memory.  So does it work that way?

In August 1950, amidst the success of Dianetics, Hubbard held a demonstration in Los Angeles' Shrine Auditorium where he presented a young woman called Sonya Bianca (a pseudonym) to a large audience including many reporters and photographers as 'the world's first Clear.' He had also seeded the audience with a few of his followers to ask the questions, which had been rehearsed with Ms Bianca before the event.  However, despite Hubbard's claim that she had "full and perfect recall of every moment of her life", Bianca proved unable to answer questions from the audience testing her memory and analytical abilities, including the question of the color of Hubbard's tie. Hubbard explained Bianca's failure to display her promised powers of recall to the audience by saying that he had used the word "now" in calling her to the stage, and thus inadvertently froze her in "present time," which blocked her abilities.

So what, really, is Dianetics.  Simply put it is a combination of partial Freudian Psychology and a light form of Hypnosis.  Before I had ever heard of Dianetics, I was a highly trained hypnotist.  I know when I see hypnosis.  And in my studies to become a hypnotherapist, I had to study a whole lot of Freud.  And because Hubbard was too lazy a student, (Click here to see his college transcript My thanks to Arnie Lerma), to study anything in depth, he was never really able to put something together that would really work any everyone.  Hell, even full Freudian therapy doesn't work on everyone.

And then, in January 1951, the New Jersey Board of Medical Examiners instituted proceedings against the Hubbard Dianetic Research Foundation in Elizabeth for teaching medicine without a license.  So he turned it into a spiritual science instead.  Separation of church and state, you know.  But he knew that Dianetics didn't work and he had to come up with a way to keep people in and get new people in.  So he named his new venture The Church of Scientology and devised several spiritual, (and costly), steps before you can go "clear".  And guess what?  Ron knew they didn't work either.  And so does existing Management.  Otherwise they wouldn't keep changing their grade chart.  All the way up to and including their precious OT8.

One example of the lower actions is Level 0, the first action once you step on their Bridge to Total Freedom. On the grade chart it reads:
Communications Release - Grade 0
F1: Ability to communicate freely with anyone on any subject. Likes to
outflow. 
F2: Willing for others to communicate to him freely on any subject.
F3: Will permit others to communicate about anything to others.

Have you ever tried to have a real conversation with a Scientologist?  You would get a more intelligent discussion from a first grader.

I will just give you the examples from the OT levels.  The original abilities gained written by Hubbard will be in red.  The updated versions will be in blue.  And of course I will provide commentary as always. Let's take a look:

Section I OT -  Extroverts a being and brings about an awareness of himself as a thetan (spirit) in relation to others and the physical universe.

 New OT I - A fresh, causative OT viewpoint of the MEST  (matter, energy, space and time) universe and other beings.

Section II OT - Ability to confront the whole track . (The whole track is supposed to mean from the second you came into existence, hundreds of trillions of years ago - all of your lifetimes)

 OT II - Ability to confront the whole track. (no change on this one)

 Section III OT - Return of full self determinism.

 OT III - Return of self-determinism, freedom from overwhelm. (they added something)

Section IV OT - Certainty of self as a being.  (I am certain I am a being, aren't you?)

New OT IV - Eradication of the last vestiges of the effects of drugs on the being. (OK, now I get it.  I am screwed up because somebody drugged my soul.  They actually believe this.) 

Section V OT - Re-familiarizes a thetan exterior with the physical universe. (Does this mean you get to see stuff that isn't there?  L.S.D. costs a whole lot less.) 

New OT V - Completion of New OT V Rundowns and ready to begin Solo NED for OTs. (Solo NED for OTs, also known as NOTS = Self run New Era Dianetics for OTs) 

 Section VI OT - Ability to operate freely as a thetan exterior and to act pan-determinedly, extends the influence of the thetan to the universe of others. (Wow!  You could be a Super Crime Fighter!)

 New OT VI - Ability to audit Solo NED for OTs. (Meh.)

Section VII OT -  Rehabilitation of intention.  (Works for me, I intend to stay the hell away from Scientology.) 

New OT VII - Cause over life. (Uh, what?) 

 Section VIII OT - Ability to be at cause knowingly and at will over thought, life, form, matter, energy, space and time, subjective and objective. (Oh yeah!  That's what I'm talking about.) 

 New OT VIII - Handles the primary reason for amnesia on the whole track. (That's kind of vanilla isn't it?)


Why were they changed?  It is simple really.  There were too many people walking out of Scientology upon completion of OT7 and OT8.  They didn't get what they were promised.  Pretty smart of Mr Miscavige really.  If you don't promise them anything, they can't complain when they don't get anything.

Thank you so much for sticking it out with me to the end.  If you know someone who is still in the church or someone who is thinking about getting in, please share this with them.  Who knows?  Miracles have been known to happen.  If you have any comments or questions, I welcome them.  Again thank you.

OH!  Wait!  One last thought.  After you have learned how to communicate like a pro, and have spent $700 thousand dollars to get to OT8, what are you going to be like?  Watch this:

The Scientology Disconnection Policy

Hi again my friends.  I will try to make this post a little shorter, but sometimes when my fingers start talking, it is hard to shut them up. 

What with all the news lately about Scientology, the subject of disconnection has been coming up a lot.  I found that there were a few things that I wanted to say about it in my own way.

If you listen to the spokespersons of the church, they will tell you flat out that there is no such policy as disconnection.  They will tell you that when disconnection does occur, it is a personal choice and no one is forced, ever to disconnect.  All of Scientology's public spokespersons are trained and drilled to be able to look you, or the camera, right in the eye and lie with the look of an angel.  Actually, just about any staff member can do the same thing.  One of the things you learn to do in the Scientology Training Routines.

Probably any member of the church would give you the same spiel.  They don't know any better.  This is what they have been told.  They also don't have any idea, for the most part, what is going on out in the real world.  They are not encouraged to watch television or read the news papers. 

Most of them, at least to their knowledge, are not lying.  They get their data from a course that most Scientologists end up taking.  It is called the PTS/SP Course. (This means Potential Trouble Source/Suppressive Person). I will explain as we go on.  The pertinent excerpt is this.

HCOB 10 August 1973
HCOB means Hubbard Communications Office Bulletin.  They are always in red on white and they deal with the technical side of Scientology
PTS HANDLING
PTS=Potential Trouble Source
Hubbard wrote and Scientologists believe that If you are ill, injured or in an accident you are either connected to someone or something that is antagonistic to Scientology, or, you have done something to Scientology.  Either way, you are PTS and need to be fixed.
There are two stable data which anyone has to have, understand and KNOW ARE TRUE
in order to obtain results in handling the person connected to suppressives.

These data are:

1,  That all illness in greater or lesser degree and all foul-ups stem directly
    and only from a PTS condition.

2.  That getting rid of the condition requires three basic actions: A. Discover
    B.  Handle or disconnect.

A. Discover who or what you are PTS to. Then B.  Handle or disconnect.  Handle means, make the person see that Scientology isn't bad, or at least get them to lay off, or, you need to disconnect from that person, of your own volition, for your own good.

So they don't see it as lying when they tell you it is a personal choice.  But what they don't tell you is that if a person publicly leaves Scientology, publicly tells Scientology's secrets, publicly disagree with Scientology policy or say something bad about Hubbard or David Miscavige in person, the church is probably going to declare you a Suppressive Person.  (This means that you have been excommunicated from the church).  These days, Most active members of Scientology don't know who is declared or who has left, and if they are told anything, it is something like this person was kicked out for practicing Scientology in a non-standard way (what they call a squirrel).  Or that you have committed some other kind of high crime against Scientology.

A lot of people have been coming forward recently with horror stories about not being able to see or even speak to their friends and loved one's.  The church, through it's spokespersons tell you it is all lies.  Fine.  I will show you something and let you make up your own mind about that.

Each person who is declared a  a suppressive person is supposed to receive a declare order.  On the back of this order, it shows:

I have redacted the persons name for their privacy.  You see where it says this person's "only Scientology terminal is the International Justice Chief via the Continental Justice Chief"?  In Scientology, a terminal is someone that you may communicate with.  This makes it clear that if you have family or friends that are members in good standing of the Church of Scientology and you have been declared, that you are NOT permitted any contact with them.

And if you wish to have relations with your friends and family, your only choice is to tuck your tail between your legs, go back and say you are sorry.  That you are a horrible person and beg them to take you back.  Of course then you will have to jump through several hoops called steps A-E.  I will explain.

HCO PL 23 December 1965, ETHICS SUPPRESSIVE ACTS SUPPRESSION OF SCIENTOLOGY AND SCIENTOLOGISTS THE FAIR GAME LAW. 

 HCO PL is Hubbard Communications Office Policy letter.  They are in green on white and they have to do with Administration policies. Here’s what L. Ron Hubbard said  the HCO Secretary must do with
the repentant:

A. Tells the person or group to stop committing present time overts (crimes) and to cease all attacks and  suppressions so he, she or they can get a case gain; (wins in Scientology counseling)

B. Requires a public announcement to the effect that they realize their actions were ignorant and
unfounded and stating where possible the influences or motivations which caused them to attempt to
suppress or attack Scientology; gets it signed before witnesses and published broadly, particularly to
persons directly influenced or formerly associated with the former offender or offenders. The letter
should be calculated to expose any conspiracy to suppress Scientology or the preclear or Scientologist if
such existed;

B(1). Requires that all debts owed to Scientology organizations are paid off;

If you have been on Staff or in the Sea Org and have left without permission, or publicly left, you are not only declared, but you owe them for any training and auditing you have ever had.  This alone could amount to multiple thousands of dollars.
 
B2. May require that, subject to the approval of the International Justice Chief, an amends project
suitable and commensurate with the severity and extent of the suppressive acts committed be completed
before further A to E steps are undertaken;

This could be anything from taking out full page ads for Scientology (at your own expense of course), or anything that would result in some big statistic for Scientology as a whole

C. Requires training beginning at the lowest level of the Bridge at their expense if executives in charge
of training will have the person or the group members;

Depending on you training and counseling level at the time you were declared, this could add up to hundreds of thousands of dollars.  You will probably be expected to make another very large donation to the International Association of Scientologists too.
 
D. Makes a note of the matter with copies of the statement and files in the Ethics files;

Statistics.  Scientology runs on statistics
 
E. Informs the Chairman at Saint Hill and forwards a duplicate of the original copy which shows
signatures.   

You get the idea.  They are going to make it damn difficult for you to get back in.  You will have to prove that you are worthy.

So if you ever meet someone who says that they have been declared by the Church of Scientology, give them a big hug and tell them that you will be their family until they can be with their own.

Thank you my friends for sticking with me.  Please pass this along to anyone you think needs to see it.  And as always, I welcome your comments.